I’m sitting in my house watching a favorite show of mine. My partner comes up to me and voices their frustration around something I said I would do but forgot the day before. “Here they go again”, I think to myself. It has been more than a month of spending every moment of every day locked up inside with the same person and the same people. I’m going nuts. It gets to the point where if they even ask for another request I have annoyance after the first word that leaves their mouth. My patience is running thin and I’m feeling stuck. How much longer until I no longer have to be stuck inside with them?!
In these peculiar, isolating, and unfortunate times, it is easy for our stress levels to be at a high. Some of us may be feeling extremely lonely, while others may be struggling to keep their cool with the extra time locked indoors with loved ones. No matter your circumstance, there may be opportunities for difficult emotions to be more pervasive these days. Whether it be feeling disrespected when your child doesn’t obey you, feeling confused as to everything going on and when you and the world may start normalcy again, or feeling annoyed with your partner constantly being in your space, you are being confronted full force with negative emotions that may seem out of your control.
From a spiritual perspective of oneness and kindness, it could be suggested that despite the hardships being experienced today, there can be a fruitfulness or optimism seen in communities coming together to help one another, appreciating the value of life and connection more, and reminiscing the little sources of joy you may be missing from your normal, daily routine. On the flip side, you may be confronted with the very anxieties and worries and difficult emotions that your daily routines may have been masking or distracting you from. Whether it be the extra alone time with your thoughts and feelings, or inner disturbances created through relations, the very triggers that we may struggle to regulate ourselves from may be facing us on a more so consistent basis at this time. But why must we be struggling and resisting these very experiences, which in the end make them more difficult and scary?
Through a societal lens you can see how we are conditioned to define certain emotions as good and others as bad. We “should” strive towards feeling happy, fulfilled, excited, and grateful, while avoiding anything that makes us feel sad, disrespected, confused, annoyed, or angry. But why? Are all of these emotions inherently not part of the human experience? By resisting, avoiding, or trying to control these “negative” emotions, we are locking them up inside.
In Michael A. Singer’s widely popular book The Untethered Soul, the author beautifully articulates what happens spiritually when we close ourselves off from feeling certain emotions. Consistent with notions of MBST, when we suppress emotions we are resisting the natural flow of life. We are preventing the energy from passing through us and keeping it stuck inside our hearts. When we feel annoyed as our partner requests something and either instantly shut our ears off to prevent feeling more disturbance inside or allow ourselves to get angry, we are not allowing the energy of the situation and emotion to pass through us and process and dissipate. We are locking it inside our hearts as a Samskara, a Sanskrit word meaning “impression”. We are locking this impression inside our hearts as unfinished energy patterns.
These Samskaras then begin to rule our life. What someone said in a past scenario sticks with us as resentment, and then we avoid approaching that person again for worry that they may say something else that would disturb us. The mind becomes affixed to the past and future, rather than the present where true freedom lies. Instead, a wise spiritual person sees emotion as merely energy, rather than positive or negative, and remains open to it with curiosity and non-judgment as they surrender to it while it passes through. Difficult? Of course. Is it worth it to be open to some discomfort temporarily in order to prevent past experiences from ruling your mind? Seems like a small sacrifice to me. And now, in these times, we have the opportunity to build this skill of surrender more than ever before. I’m looking forward to starting, will you join me?